Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Sorry I'm getting kinda bad at posting more huh? Well in all honesty, these past few days I've just been a little depressed. You guys know that mistake I made a while back with Deaven, well like I said before I can't keep things like that from people. So I told Enzo and today we broke up. I'm heartbroken of course and I know that it's really my own doing but it still hurts. Which of course leads me to a question: What do you do after a break-up? Let me know in a comment or an e-mail.
In other news, it was my friend Rachel's birthday on Tuesday: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HER!! We might meet up this weekend with the old gang from middle school and go to the drive-in and spend the weekend together. It should be very fun and I'm super excited and hopeful that everything works out how we want. :)
Well I actually have nothing more to say for today, cause I'm down, but I promise I'll have something more for tomorrow but dont forget to comment, follow, spread the word, LOVE on todays post. SMILE!!! XOXO hugs and kisses
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Well on top of it being hectic today is a semi-great, semi-sad day, for the same reason : Enzo doesn't have Internet anymore in Bolivia. Which means I can't talk to him which totally sucks but is also great because that means. . . guess who's almost back from Bolivia!?!?! Well even though I won't be able to see him for a while it'll be easier on us now that we can text and call without having to worry about the Internet connection.
Okay so as you know I've been super excited for my dance show since we figured out what we were going to do. We've been perfecting it and it looks so great so far I can't wait! I'll have a video of the show for you guys to see when we do it.
Oh weirdest thing happened to me yesterday in the bathroom. . . Ughhh that sounds bad huh? ( ' . ' )?. . . Well ok let me explain. I was in the library bathroom washing my hands about to touch up my makeup and a lady walked in (wouldn't it be awkward if that was the weird part ha ha) she came up and asked me my age. She said she was a scout for a modeling agency from New York, but that was opening really near by. She told me they were having auditions and that she wanted me to try out and that she could get me in. The company is MicheleMarieandCompanys. Anyone ever heard of it? Or maybe someone who they know got their break from them? Comment. It seemed fun. And I figured if the modeling audition failed I could try out for the dance or singing. For those who don't know, I'm in love with singing and dancing. (i might make a few videos and post them here or on YouTube, Maybe but anyway I'm definitely thinking about at least going to the audition to see what I can do and if nothing more than to say that I've been to a modeling audition.
Well I hope everyone has a great rest of their Thursday but I have to get going and find something to wear for my cousins birthday this Saturday and work on my routine. SMILE!!! XOXO hugs and kisses.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Well. . . after the movies, we went home and I asked my friend Deaven to come over. Deaven, Nickki and I were all sitting outside her house talking and Nickki kept leaving Deaven and I alone (on purpose). Well he had to leave and so we said our goodbyes but we stayed out for another 10 minute and we did something. . . He told me that he didn't care anymore and he leaned in to kiss me. Now I turned away and just hugged him but before I go on, understand that I have liked him since the 8th grade and we never got to see what could happen, he dated a friend of mine because we never told the other that we liked each other and so our shot was messed up and we never did anything but the feelings still haven't faded.
Well he leaned in and I got shy and just hugged him and told him that I couldn't and he said it was okay and just kept hugging me. But then I started kissing his shoulder and his neck and somehow we ended up kissing.
I had had 2 Monsters' before and at this point I was kinda crashing. He kept kissing me and holding me and leaning towards me and pushed me against the car. Now for those of you who don't know, this was my first kiss because my other relationships have either been long distance (like now) or didn't last more then a few days. It was intense and passionate and he was somehow forceful but gentle and romantic at the same time. he kept rubbing his tongue against my lips and it was so nice. We stopped and he kept kissing my hand and shoulder and laying his head on my shoulder and we hugged then kept kissing more until he finally pulled away and told me I had to go. i told him I didn't want to but he picked me up and carried me to where my phone and shoes were and dropped me off and so I went back inside. My heart was beating so fast and even throughout the kissing I was breathing heavy and uneven. It was like magic.
Now I know that I've always bragged about Enzo and how happy we are but that doesn't mean we don't have our problems. We do. I can't believe that I kissed another guy, but whats even more unbelievable is that I don't really feel bad about. I've had feelings for Deaven for a long time now but this was the first time we've ever really acted on it.
Because of this I need your guys' advise on what to do. Enzo and I will stay long distance for another long while maybe even another year, he doesn't want kids, this isn't the first time I've considered breaking up with him for awhile and he wants to stay in California. Deaven is pretty much everything Enzo isn't. He does want kids, we both plan on moving to Oregon, and he's here.
I like them both but recently I feel like Enzo and I are just drifting in a sense and I hate that. I don't know if I should stay with Enzo or explore this with Deaven. Give me advise either as a comment or e-mail me! But no hate mail/comments you guys. I know cheating is bad but I need advise not criticism.
That's all for today's post but don't forget to e-mail me, comment, follow and tell your friends about this blog. SMILE!!! XOXO hugs and kisses.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Well it was mine and Enzo's 11 month anniversary Monday. We didn't get to much time to talk because I had school and I took the bus home.That took like 2 hours because of all the lights, stops and people and then when I got home I ate a bag of chips and pretty much just passed out so ya he tried calling and of course I didn't answer ha ha feel pretty bad about that but he understood and let me make it up to him the next night. It's crazy our one year anniversary is coming up super fast and I'm so excited to make that video for him but I still need your recommendations on cute songs so comment down below! :)
In other news my dance coach actually wants me to try out for the varsity team!! She thinks that I can make it so I think that I'll at least try out and if I don't make the team then ok at least I tried right. It was really cool of her to tell me that though and it made me feel so much more confident in my dancing.
Oh I almost forgot that I was supposed to tell everyone my next tattoo. (Which BTW I might get sooner than anticipated because my friend Deaven wants to take me to go get it done by the same guy who just recently did his. He does nice work and Deaven says he's got me covered so I'm super excited for it) I'm a California girl no matter what and I know for a fact that when I leave California for Oregon next year, I'll be pretty home sick and be missing my beautiful sunny California. I've had this idea for a while now and I haven't grown tired of it, which is great because the last thing you want to do is tattoo a design into your skin and find that after a little while you can't stand it. my advise it to get it drawn out or printed, whichever, and then put the sketch in a place where you can see it everyday, like over your bed, on the bathroom mirror, anywhere. Wait a year. If you still want it after that year then go get it but if you got tired of seeing it. . . well gee I wonder how it'll be when it's inked into your skin permanently. Anyways I'm going to get the state of California tattooed behind my right ear and inside that state is going to be a grizzly bear paw print in the same place that I've lived most of my life in. That way when I feel homesick I'll always have California there.
I'm also trying to find a jeweler that makes good quality bracelets. I'm going to get a gold charm bracelet and every charm is going to be something that represents California, be it a person in California or a place. If you know of a good place that isn't too expensive e-mail me or comment down below.
Since I wasn't able to post yesterday, I'll bring it up today. Yesterday marked the 11th year anniversary of the 9/11 attack on the US. I want to thank everyone who risked their lives to help save others and also I want to acknowledge those whose lives were lost and their families and loved ones as well.
It was a truly terrible thing yet it united us and showed our strength as a nation. For those who lost someone in that event, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what that must feel like. It was a devastating day around the world. Yet we still stand tall and united. Thank you again to everyone who united on that day to help the victims, their families, friends, and protect our nation and may the fallen rest in peace and live forever in our nations heart, soul and mind.
That's all for today's post but I'll try and be back as soon as possible. Don't forget to hit that follow button and comment down below. SMILE!!! XOXO hugs and kisses
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
In other news, today at lunch my friend Leon started asking me about my friend Ryan. I've mentioned them to you once or twice before, but anyway, Leon started asking me about him. To me that's dangerous territory because that either means Ryan likes me, or Leon wants Ryan and I to go out. If it's the first one, I'll feel mean turning him down because it's hard to admit to someone that you like them. It's nerve racking and your putting yourself out there to be rejected. I hate that part. Especially because Ryan is such a funny, nice, weird guy, and him and I are pretty good friends and I don't want to hurt his feelings or have things change between him and I and make things akward for us or for our friends.
If it's the second then I don't get why Leon wants us to go out. I mean Ryan and I aren't best friends or anything but we mess around with each other in a friendly way. I don't know sometimes people ust confuse me ha ha. Oh and on top of thta because Ryan is the type to keep things about his life to himself, I don't even know if he's single or not. I mean that doesn't change anything for me but I just don't know what's up with them (Ryan and Leon) right now ha ha.
In other heartwarming news. . . Enzo's coming back to the states in. . . .
ONLY 20 MORE DAYS!!!!
I'm so happy and excited and AHH he's coming back. He's happy too. He says that as soon as he sets foot off the plane he's running to go grab some American food ha ha. That would be what my boyfriend misses! He'll be home soon thou so we're both on cloud 9 right now and after he comes back, he'll just have to take a 3 month training course to be an EMT and than he'll be coming to California! I can't believe that he'll be here that fast. He says he's going to come and visit me before then but that won't be too long a wait. (I say that now but wait later I'll be talking about missing him and him needing to get over here faster ha ha). It's great thou I mean he'll be here sooner than we expected and I'm Exstatic about that! I'm looking forward to seeing him, and of course once he comes over, and gets hired, he'll be looking so great in an EMTs uniform ha ha. Ohhh gosh I can't believe it but yeah time will be flying once he's back in the states.
I want to do something for him for his homecoming, even though I won't be there obviously, I still want to do something nice for him to show him that I'm glad he's home and he's safe and that I miss(ed) him alot ha ha. Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions, leave it as a comment below and I'll check them out. Much appreciated everyone. And really if you have any ideas, even if you thinks it's kinda silly or you saw it somewhere like a movie, or anything. . . still post it. I have no idea what to do for him, so any idea, even the dorky ones are great. . . Actually since I'm a dork, and he's a dork, the dorkier ideas you have the better! ha ha so get to commenting everyone (please).
Well that's all for today everyone but don't forget to follow, comment and spread the word. SMILE!!! XOXO hugs and kisses
So today at lunch my boy Leon and I noticed that there were about 4 people eating lunch by themselves looking sad. Nobody should eat by themselves so of course, Leon and I decided to go and introduce ourselves and invite them to sit with us. They were quiet and shy but they were smiling and weren't eating alone. I remember being a new kid at lots of different schools. Eating lunch by yourself sucks! You have to sit there like you don't care that your sitting alone, while everyone else has at least one person to talk to or eat with. It's hard. Then theres the matter of going home later, and feeling sorry for yourself. Then the next day, odds are you'll be sitting alone again.
It can feel a little scary and weird to just go and talk to a complete stranger, because for most of us, it's out of your comfort zone and of course you don't want to offend the person or make yourself look dumb. I strongly encourage it though because that person sitting by themselves today, could be your best friend tomorrow so go up and talk to someone. Just talk about random stuff, be yourself, make them feel comfortable. They feel just as akward and nervous as you.
Ok done with my lecture ha ha. in other news, in the last blog I posted I told you guys about one of the tattoos I'm going to get: the names. Now for my second tattoo.
For those of you who don't know, there are 4 love quadrents to the heart. I'm not talking about the heart in your chest I'm talking about your heart that loves, aches, and yearns for people. Each is represented by a different shape: a spade, a clover, a heart, and a diamond. Like the suits in adeck of cards. Each one of those shapes is a soulmate of some sort. I can't remember what the spade and clover are but here you go guys:
- The Heart is your love soulmate. This is the person that you'll end up marrying or spending your life with. Your heart= your love=your soulmate. Get it? Cute huh? On to the next one.
- The Diamond is supposed to be your best friend soulmate. This is the person that is meant to be your friend for life.
Oh so this friday I'll be going to the Pomona Fair. Hopefully I can convince a friend to come with me. I'll definetly take pictures and hopefully soon I'll be able to upload all the pictures from Kassie's last day and the fair, unfortuanetly I was so thrilled with seeing all my friends at Deaven's birthday party that I didn't even take any pictures (SAD FACE). But I'll definetly kidnap a friend for the day (maybe even the weekend) and take pictures of all the stuff at the fair.
Well that about it for today's post but dont forget to follow, comment, and tell your friends about my blog! SMILE!! XOXO hugs and kisses.
Hey! Download Kik Messenger by going to m.kik.com on your phone (it's free and crazy fast). My Kik username is "poookiebear" - add me!
Sorry for not blogging anything recently guys I normally blog at the library because it's easier then on my phone but I'll definitely have some posts for you this Wednesday. See you then.